Radical Faith

I ran across an inspiration point today:

"Radical faith looks a lot like faithfulness." - Sarah Bessey

And it got me thinking about this year of embracing that God has called me to. 

About being faithful with what He has put in front of me, what some days may look small (depending on my perspective and heart's focus), and what other days I recognize as truly monumental.

I have recently been perusing some old journals, even back to my college days, and have seen how long I have been striving to find 'my calling,' this one thing that the Lord purposed for me to do, this one thing that offered a sense of identity and meaningfulness and security. 

I grasped at some many ideas. It's actually quite humorous, this far removed, to see the wide spectrum of speculations I had of this thing that the Lord has doing in my life.

Somewhere along the way, I believed the lie that there needed to be this one thing. This pillar I could cling to that would tell me

who I am
and what I was worth
and what I had to offer. 

Little did I know that He was there the whole.entire.time. 

It was the moments and seasons of confusion, when the latest 'thing' didn't work out and I was left once again clueless, that I would catch a glimpse of the True Thing.

That Jesus was there, pursuing me fervently despite my fickle heart. He was calling me to see His love for me, to know that He was there for me to cling to. To tell me that

I was His
and I was worth His death
and that I now had Life to offer others. 

If I would but partake. Receive. Accept Him as the One thing I had been searching for.

My idea of radical faith, with my perspective on the water walking and not the Jesus that Peter was walking to, was and still is an idol.

If I would stop and just ask myself some questions, maybe I would have recognized it earlier.

Do I think that Peter wanted to show off for the other guys in the boat?
Did he have something to prove?
Or was he just so compelled to be with this Jesus that he couldn't stay where he was, even if it meant doing something crazy?

And what about the moments that led up to this event?
What about the faith-building steps of obedience and recognizing that Jesus was the One he were looking for, had been waiting for?
Why was he in the boat in the first place?

Because he had been with Jesus that day and Jesus had sent them on ahead. He had been walking with Him - abiding - and so this was just the next step of faith for Peter to take (although a bold one, for sure, but from what I gather, that was who God had made Peter to be).

So, it just makes me think about how sometimes even the good stuff gets way to much weight in my mind and heart.

What if the most amazing radical faith walk I can ever have is to do the mundane tasks that are right in front of me, to the best of my ability, in love, with Jesus.

There may never be anything 'exciting' about it that calls for others' attention, but the more I get to know Jesus, the more exciting and meaningful I am finding those 'little' things to be. Because He is there with me. And I get to see Him in them.

They aren't so little anymore. My perspective has changed. When I choose to focus on what the Lord has entrusted to me right now - not guessing about future tasks or looking back at previous pursuits - their weight and purpose have grown.

As I embrace my life, I gain this wonderful new front-row perspective where I glimpse things I wasn't in position to see before.

Beautiful hidden treasures the Lord has entrusted to me.
Priceless pearls I hope to store away in my heart and ponder over them for the rest of my life. 

For me, a radical faith would look a lot more like consistently setting my eyes on Jesus in the midst of a world (and a heart) that constantly beckons for me to turn my attention elsewhere. That I would stay with Him. Find my home in Him. Lay down my head and rest there, in His Presence. Build my nest at His altar. Psalm 84:3 (Thank you, Shelley Giglio).

I pray that the Lord can grow that kind of faithfulness in me.

For those of you that know me, you would know. That would be pretty darn radical.