Wednesday, April 27, 2011


My daughter crawled over to me this afternoon, while I was sitting in front of my computer, and reached up for me to pull her into my lap. She was hungry, and then fell asleep shortly after eating. As I was rocking her, I had one of those moments that's almost painful - just holding her tightly and thinking about how


she is. And I thought of how many mothers have had those same moments, the same thoughts. He/she is so


I remember when she was small enough to just lay there on my chest while I rocked. Now her long, thin legs curl around my waist and her lanky arms drap around mine. And we rock. And she breathes on my cheek. And I try my best to take it in. To find a place in my heart where I can store it & pull it back out later, when she's even more grown up.

But I leak. My heart is forgetful and those moments seem to slip away, not available for me to quickly retrieve. How much more important that I choose to live in the present with her now, then trying to hold on to those ever allusive moments?

Will she ever know how much I adore her?

My mind then shifts to the fact that I'm made in the image of my Creator, my Father in Heaven. And I get my capacity to love her, however imperfectly on this side of heaven, from Him. Because He loves. I love because He loves.

And He thinks I'm beautiful. He takes in my moments, as I hold tightly to hers, and I bet He thinks, "Why doesn't she accept the fact that I adore her?"

Why is it so hard for me/us to accept that we could be loved and adored the same way that we feel that towards those closest to us? Our hearts are broken with sin. We leak. Yet we feel these things, however imperfectly. How much more does He who is whole, One, love and feel these things towards us?

It may be a little backwards, but maybe as I learn to love her and show her how much I do, I'll learn a little bit more of how much I'm loved as well.

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